Last week I woke up on the South Side of the Mexican border. That’s not a euphemism, although if it was a euphemism I shudder to think what it would be for. Not to worry though because while I don’t speak any Spanish whatsoever (ok, that’s an exaggeration, I speak a grand total of 35 words of Espanol -- see that’s one right there), at least I also don’t have a job. So, I’m all set.
Oh, and just in case you didn’t know. There’s a giant drug war going on. And it’s not like the little, oh no there’s some shady guy across the street from the high school selling pot to our kids, we must protect the youth, kind of drug war. It’s more like the army guys with great big giant machine guns and multiple drug related assassinations a day kind of drug war.
Before this month, I lived in New York. I had an actual grown up job (during the week I had to shower on a regular basis, set an alarm, and show up at an office and everything) and did things like take wine classes and go out to bars and even sit in the upper deck at the new Yankee Stadium – I also occasionally did things not involving alcohol, but I’m having a hard time remembering what those were at the moment. In short I lived a normal Manhattanite existence.
So, what am I doing here? Well, if I did drugs, bought drugs, sold drugs, or was interested in stopping anybody from doing drugs, buying drugs or selling drugs then there would be an obvious, rational answer (then again I’d also be employed on one side of the law or the other). Given that I don’t we must turn to the obvious irrational answer. I followed a girl here.
The girl it should be noted does not do drugs, buy drugs or sell drugs. Nor does she professionally endeavor to stop people from doing drugs, buying drugs or selling drugs. She apparently found the one job on the whole Mexican-American border that does not involve drugs. It should also be noted that the girl is a leggy redhead, and she has offered to pay for things. Not just things, but most things. So, when she asked if I wanted to come, I like Menelaus before me (way way way before me) followed my woman into what quite possibly could end up being an abyss.
Here we are then, for better or worse I have arrived in Mexico. Hopefully over the coming weeks and months and dare I say years this blog will contain all the whacky borderland fun you can stand. Look for updates twice a week and if I miss a deadline just assume I was mistaken for a druglord (after all my tall skinny New York Jewness makes me look tremendously similar to a Mexican drug cartel kingpin) and know that I had a good run. Just kidding mom, I’m fine really I swear. Also as of this moment:
This blog has been drug gang related violence free for 9 days
Body Count: 0
