Winter Wonderland?

I’m supposed to be in the desert. I know because there is sand everywhere. Dust gets into everything, and the temperature in a room goes up fifteen degrees if you just think about the sun. So I have one very important question. Why the hell is it cold? I know its winter. But winter is supposed to be like a pleasant spring day here. That was its selling point. When we found out we were going to the border the LR and I said, well at least we won’t have to deal with winter. LIARS.

There is snow on the ground. Let me repeat that. There is snow, on the ground. As I write this little flakes of frozen water are falling from the sky and landing outside. I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised, the weather forecast this morning did say 66 degrees with a chance of snow storms. This might seem confusing so let’s take a bit of a walk down science lane shall we? Water retains heat. When cold air moves into an area it cools the water in the area (either in the ground or the sky). This blunts its impact on the surrounding air, slowing down the cooling process. The border has no water, so the cool air is not blunted, making sudden temperature drops possible. It just so happened that this time the cold air brought with it already cooled water in the form of snow. And voila for the first time in two years, snow in the desert. I should probably note at this point, that I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. But the sciency type stuff sounds convincing even if it’s just random weather words strung together.

Regardless, it is miserable. It’s possibly worse than being shot by drug dealers who mistake me for a rogue drug mule. Although, I m slightly biased. I really don’t like the cold. I’d say super cold temperatures were the direct cause of at least five sick days over the past two years (back when I had a real job and stuff). And sure, I don’t have to deal with zero degree weather here as I would occasionally deal with in NYC (and by occasionally deal with I am of course referring to curling in bed under a giant blanket and not moving). But the fact remains it gets cold. Even when it doesn’t snow, when the sun goes down, with no water in the air to retain the heat, the temperature drops like a rock.

I could, of course, just not go outside after dark. Even without the temperature issues this seems logical. After all, people do things like get shot after dark, or carjacked, or have bad burritos. The border after dark is not the place you want to be, unless you are trying to illegally cross it. Then again, pretty much all of that goes for the day time too. And, I’m sure during the summer (or as its been described to us, the hellish miserable dust storm months) I’ll want to not go out in the day time with the 110 degree heat and what not. But, as for winter not going out at night is not an option.

See, there’s this puppy. And this puppy needs to learn to use the facilities. And he’s a puppy, so the facilities are outside. And he’s a puppy so his bladder is the size of one of those angels Thomas Aquinas said could fit on the head of a pin. So he has to go out at night, often. And, as I believe I’ve mentioned before, the not gainfully employed half of the couple gets to take him out. Yay. So I get to freeze my behind off on a nightly basis in the desert. So, the one thing I was looking forward to about the desert has been taken away.

But, at least the Notorious D.O.G. a puppy born, and now being raised in the desert had the chance to play in the snow. If I was a sappy family sitcom I’d say it made it all worth it. It didn’t, but it was closer than I expected.

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