Well, on the bright side there’s always Mexican food right? Being on this side of the border I should at least be able to enjoy some authentic tacos while getting riddled by bullets shouldn’t I? Jalapenos so hot it makes my face look like a cancer patients (for those less quick on the uptake that means it singes of my eyebrows and makes me look like I’m undergoing chemotherapy. Its probably less funny now that I explained it, and because of the whole cancer thing), giant blocks of amazing cheese (or queso as the natives say. See, I’m blending in), and mole sauce, whatever that may be.
I assume that all exists, somewhere. I wouldn’t really know though. In two months we’ve been out to dinner on the Mexican side of the border precisely once. And that was for Italian food. Which to be fair was really not bad (definitely better than Olive Garden, especially because I really have no desire to be invited into any Mexican’s family). Why Italian? Well we were at the mall shopping and our options were Italian or Applebees. Now that’s some authentic Mexican options. It was a very pleasant experience…a little like dining in little Italy in NYC. The food wasn’t as good obviously, but you still got to look at your fellow diners and play guess the mob member.
Before we got here we had heard some stories about eating out down here that both amused and horrified us (so they were amusifying, maybe horrimusing?) Things like, people being out to dinner when a Mexican drug lord decided he wanted to dine at the establishment. Said drug lord would walk in and his cronies would collect the cell phones from all of the restaurants patrons (note: this was not an optional activity). El Drug Lord would then sit, dine on a fine meal (in my mind it must include a four digit priced bottle of red wine, although I have yet to find a restaurant down here that has such alcohol…although to be fair I haven’t exactly been looking), and then when he was done his cronies would return all the cell phones and leave. While that sounds like my idea of a raucously good time, we still decided to maybe avoid most of the places south of the border.
As for the northern side of our immediate area-- there may be some good grub places there. I don’t know for certain. See there’s this thing I may have mentioned, it’s called a puppy. Puppies apparently aren’t supposed to be left alone for long stretches of time. I know, who would have thought? So, after a long day of running all the errands north of the border that we can, when its finally time to enjoy a break and get some good food, the LR and I invariably go to the same place. We hit the Taco Bell drive through. That’s right, we are 2100 miles away from home in a place where possibly the only positive is authentic Mexican food, and our dining venue of choice is cheap fast food knock off Mexican. I felt really bad about it for a while, but I’ve come to peace with it. I’ve decided that its really no different from eating Burger King in the states. Of course, when I was in the states I pretty much never had Burger King, but that’s not the point.
This blog has been gang violence free for 50 days
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