Watching (More) Soccer So You Don't Have To

We are now two thirds of the way through the group stages of the world cup. Seems like a good time for a little bit of, what have we learned.


The Ball
Jabalani, the ball “invented” for this World Cup was initially decried by goal keepers the world over as, in U.S. Goalie Tim Howard’s words, “tragic.” And there certainly have been some dreadful goalie mistakes so far, none worse than England’s Robert Green against the U.S. But, as it turns out, the ball has been equally as effective at causing attacking players pain. More frequently than the goalie mistakes are the long strikes, and crosses, many times from some of the best players in the world, flying hither thither and yon. So far Jabalani seems to have prevented more goals than it caused.

The Refs
Obviously the blown call that disallowed the U.S.’s third goal against Slovenia has made headlines, but quite frankly that’s been the least of their problems. Bad calls happen from time to time, and those calls swing games. If the goal had been disallowed in a game between say Serbia and Ghana, it would have been talked about for ten minutes and then the world would have moved on. The bigger problem though has been the refs consistently being unable to maintain control of their games without issuing yellow and red cards with abandon. This leads to players picking up cheap second yellow cards and being sent off early, like Martin Klose for Germany against Serbia. In other cases cheap straight red cards are being given forcing teams to play extended periods of time down a man. Just ask Australia or Switzerland what that’s like. There has been a consistent inability by the referees to differentiate between real contact, and flopping. Its like penalty card roulette whenever two players run into each other (aided by the fact that both that both players hit the ground like they’ve had a leg chopped off). After starting off the tournament strong the refs have had an absolute nightmare run in the second matches of the group stage.

The Continents
Africa:
Ick. A World Cup that was supposed to be a coming out party for the home sides has turned into a giant step backwards. It is distinctly possible that for the first time in over 20 years an African team will not advance past the group stages. Ghana and Nigeria have a shot at keeping that from happening, but Ghana will need to get a result against Germany, and Nigeria will need to win and get help.

Asia:
A surprisingly good performance from the region, with both South Korea, and Japan seeming poised to advance, and even Australia (yes geographically challenged FIFA considers Australia, but not New Zealand a part of Asia), with a shot of moving through. North Korea on the other hand, gave the Brazilians a game effort, falling 2-1, before rolling studs up for Portugal. But on the bright side I’m sure the headlines in North Korea will praise Dear Leader for his dramatic last second hat trick in winning the World Cup (actually apparently the drubbing was broadcast live in the People’s Repub. I wonder how Kim Jong will spin that. And if I ever own a bar, I’m naming it the People’s Repub).

Europe:
France, England and Italy are all dramatic disappointments to date, although the latter 2 are good bets to advance despite their form. Portugal submitted the drubbing of the tournament, crushing North Korea 7-0, and all but locking up advancing to the knock out stage. Spain and Germany have both blown hot and cold, dropping a game but still being well poised to advance. When your continent makes up more than a third of the field it’s a good bet that somebody will figure out a way to contend, even if it isn’t who you expect (Ahem Netherlands).

N. America:
Mexico is through, and if the U.S. takes care of business against Algeria they’ll be through too. Now the question is can either of them make some noise in knock out stage.

S. America:
Oh my. If things break as expected all 5 teams will advance to the knock out stage, without a weak team among them. After playing conservative first matches, Paraguay and Uruguay both took care of business in their second matches against weak opponents. Brazil and Argentina are Brazil and Argentina and Chile has looked lively and dangerous in sitting atop its group as well (although they have yet to play Spain).

And Finally New Zealand:
The little team that could. Qualifying for the World Cup by
beating powerhouses like New Caledonia, Vanuatu and Bahrain, New Zealand would have been considered lucky to score a goal, or get a draw entering the tournament. But after two games, they have tied first Slovakia and then mighty Italy. If they can get a result against Paraguay they have every chance to move onto the knockout stages. That would be one of the biggest upsets of all time. Think of it like a 16 beating a 1 seed.

And I’ll be back with more pithy summing up before the knock out stage begins this weekend.